I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Im part way to drunk.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
dude. I can hear the air.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
