bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
