He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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