when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
