Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
