Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
