i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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