we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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