I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
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