I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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