you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize