I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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