I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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