I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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