I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
