I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
