i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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