um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
