The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
