I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
