how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
