are you so shy because you have an std?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
