I just pynch a tree in the face
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So squirting runs in the family.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
