the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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