I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
