I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
