the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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