the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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