Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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