i just made my gag reflex go away.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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