The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
