i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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