he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
