but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
