Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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