guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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