he shaved USA in his pubs
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
