I must be too annoying 4 u.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
