They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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