Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
