i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
