At least make sure they are 18
Why
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
