Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
