If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I stole a fireplace last night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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