Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
