And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
