wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
