I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
