did you get engaged???
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize