I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
where am i from again
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
