so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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