Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize