I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
