Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
