I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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