I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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